commentary, Sports

The Top-10 Worst Pro Sports Team Nicknames

We’re limiting this list to AMERICAN pro sports teams. Since we really don’t care about foreign $#!+ here, in general, we will as always ignore them. There will be no Real or Fake Madrid in this list. Arrogant…. yes. Also, we do not consider the WNBA as a pro sport in this contest, because then this list would be nothing but WNBA teams.

10. Anything “Sox”. a) you are a team named after F-ing socks. b) you don’t even spell “socks” correctly. I say man-up and get real nicknames. F tradition.

9. Arizona Cardinals. I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware of the huge, dangerous cardinal population…um, anywhere. Quick… name the last time you heard anyone (or anything) was killed or even hurt by a cardinal… especially in Arizona.

8. Washington Wizards. Wizards aren’t really that scary. They are weird. At least the comic book nerds that pretend to be wizards are. Do they give out power crystals instead of foam fingers at the games? Bullets was a better nickname.

7. Minnesota Twins. Yes, we understand why the team is named the Twins, and that doesn’t change our opinion. Yes, it’s fairly unique that there are two semi-large cities right beside one another, and yes, it’s very un-creative to name the sports team, the “Twins”. Twins pertains to two people. Last time I checked, there were more than two people on a baseball team.

6. Philadelphia Phillies. A little run here on baseball names. Phillies, the nickname, has nothing to do with horses, although that would make more sense than what Phillies really stands for, which is “people of Philadelphia”. Wow. I guess the area was devoid of any creative people in 1890 and every fricken year since.

5. New York Mets. Metropolitans. We get this too. It just sucks. Like anyone would forget where the hell New York is.

4. New Jersey Nets. Yeah, it’s named after a piece of equipment, and it rhymes with other teams in the area (Mets, Jets… and the defunct pro tennis team, the Sets). Why not the Swamp Dragons?

3. Los Angeles Clippers. A swift sailing boat. Why not name it after a flower?

2. LA Lakers. Minnesota has lakes. LA, not so much.

1. Utah Jazz. Do they even have a Jazz station in the state of Utah? Jazz, which isn’t the kind of nickname that you’d keep when relocating a team, only makes sense in New Orleans. It should have been changed long, long ago.

There you have it, the worst names in pro sports. Agree, disagree? Want to re-arrange or add another to the list? Post a comment.

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